this newsletter has taken me a long time to put together. i couldn't figure out where to start. i lost a friend recently. and that perspective that hits at those moments came crashing in on me. i just couldn't figure out how to put some of what i was feeling out to share. the deep desire to live fully, enjoying the present moments and knowing what a gift this life is.....the wanting to make my life all that i can - to live honestly and true to myself....the wanting to treasure everyone around me and let them know that the matter to me....the desire to somehow honor my friend.....all of this has been in me so big time, and i've been just completely stuck on how to offer any of it.

i'm still stuck and figured i'd just dive on in. mother's day is around the corner. my friend was a mom. and i know how much that part of her life meant to her. we'd have conversations about mothering - sometimes we were a bit lost on what it was we were 'sposed to be doing and we'd brainstorm together. i smile just thinking of that. and how the kids thought we knew what we were doing! ah...what a journey.

so feeling lost on how to share what i want, i think i'll concentrate on mother's day. it seems to hold a lot of what i'm feeling in its own way. and i know so many of us have had to journey down complicated mother roads. maybe that's perfect for this newsletter, because maybe the fact that life is just a big ol' sloppy wonderful lousy hard easy beautiful not so great lovely combination of stuff is what i want to share. and maybe if you didn't have the mom you wanted but found someone to mother you, or you didn't get to become the mom you wanted, but found someone to mother, or maybe you lost a mom and are aching with missing her.....maybe every bit of that and every mothering story there is covers some of what i'm feeling right now. and reminds us that this is life and it's ours to grab and color beautiful in any way we can.

dedicated to moms, friends,
women we've lost, women we've got,
women we love...

come check out all our mother's day offerings
right here!

(want to share something? would love to include you! drop me a note and let me know your news! i'll share!)

*anora is always involved in wonderful things! recently it dawned on me that i should totally be sharing this link! it's a journal of poetry, prose and images by women. some of you are just going to want to soak it in, and others of you are going to want to submit things! totally totally gotta go check this one out!

*i'm thinking most of you know ann quasman from woman talk live radio. she's relocated from baltimore to vermont and is keeping up with her newsletters. this last one of hers really moved me. she spoke of the topic of rape. (if you have triggers with that kinda thing, just skip it!) i was moved to tears and wanted to share. i sent it to a few men in my life, wanting to open up the conversation and awareness. i know a lot of you will really appreciate it. you can find it here.

*zakk - our fabulous web guy - updated our homepage for mother's day! i just love what he does! i always want to share these so much just to show you what he's up to! come on by and check out his work!~

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~for those we've lost~

gathering the sun

' gathering the sun
and the wind and the stars and the sky -
i find you in them.
bringing me your warmth,
your laughter,
the vastness of all that i miss -
i wrap myself in them.
as they wrap round me.
and i feel your presence.
and i feel your love.'

~ a thought to hold~

bridges

'laying bridges in place of walls,
love knows no boundaries.'

~~~~~